2 months ago, I moved to Easton, MD.
All in all life in a small town has been good. Easton is a lovely little town and it is listed as one of the Top 10 Small Towns in America. I often wonder who comes up with that list. How does a town make the cut? For instance, Easton, MD and Mt. Vernon, OH are roughly the same size and both have a Dairy Queen, but something tells me that Mt. Vernon, OH didn’t even make it past the first round. Too bad, because Mt. Vernon has a “Friendly’s” restaurant and Easton does not. And even though you may not always want a Fribble and a Friendly Frank – it’s nice to know it’s there. Just in case.
I’d like to take a moment here to discuss something that I didn’t have to deal with, on a personal everyday basis, while I was living in New York City. Republicans. Lots of Republicans. OK – now you would think that because it’s a small town it’s just the usual redneck, gun-toting, religious-right wing-nuts. I mean, if that were the case, I wouldn’t even mention it, because really – there’s no accounting for white trash. Hell, at this point, I’d be happy with some good old fashioned Goldwater Republicans. But you see, Talbot County has more millionaires per capita than most places on earth – and we are just a hop away from the nation’s capital. This means neo-con wing-nuts. People who believe that we are actually winning the war on terrorism, that the GOP has our children’s best interests in mind and that George W. Bush is an eloquent man. Yes folks, I find myself living in the same county that Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld have decided to set up house for some country living. Kill me now.
But I digress...When I lived in New York I loved to read the NY Times Op-Ed pages. The same is true here in Easton and I have to say that Maureen Dowd’s got nothing on The Op-Ed pages in the Star Democrat. First of all, I happen to find it reassuring that contrary to the assumptions of some of my over-educated liberal compatriots, smart people live in small towns, too. But also because it often bears up lovely little everyday reality checks that remind me that not everything is about terrorism, school shootings or Congressional pedophiles. It's about the little things. Things that happen through the course of the day that make our lives unique. For instance, just last week the hot topic of the pages was the plight of a local emu.
That’s right, an emu. Kin to the ostrich, indigenous to Australia, winged bird without flight and evidently a recent resident of the woods neighboring the Caroline County Country Club Golf Course. I have no idea whatsoever how this bird got from the Australian outback to the Eastern Shore of Maryland, maybe it thought it needed to work on its short game and thought Caroline County was just as good a place as any. All I know is that it decided the golf course was a nice to place to live.
But sadly, some of the local residents, concerned for the beast’s welfare (after all, hunting season is upon us) placed a call to the local Humane Society in hopes they could return it to whatever zoo/preserve/farm it had escaped from. Evidently, this was not a good idea. The Humane Society, accompanied by the local sheriff, arrived on scene and attempted to apprehend the wayward bird – not with a net, or even with a tranquilizer gun. Instead, they decided to use a taser on the poor beast. When the first shot didn’t subdue it, they just kept on shooting it. And then it died of a massive coronary. All of this took place in plain view of several area residents and a few foursomes out for a quick nine before lunch.
Can you imagine? You're just hanging out, maybe you've just let your buddy take a mulligan for like, the fifth time that day when all of a sudden a freaking emu tears by, chased by some crazed animal rights freak with a taser and the local sheriff?
So came the letters. People are outraged. Horrified. Oh the humanity! Oops...wait a minute...According to the Humane Society the goal was not to kill the bird but merely to subdue a potentially “vicious” bird so that it could be moved to a more appropriate “emu”-like environment. have you ever seen a picture of an emu?
click here
Are you scared? No, of course not. Because it’s the goofiest looking thing ever to grace God’s green earth. He wasn't bothering anyone, he was just trying to get through the day just like everyone else. Maybe eat a few worms - flap his wings (just in case!). You know, just living for the day. And so it goes.
I’ve been reading about this bird since last Tuesday. Life is good.
